Please vote for your favorite TIFU Post for November 2023.
Thank you! See you next month!
This happened around 2002. I had chronic asthma and cats (definitely related), and so my doctor put me on an inhaled corticosteroid (I think Pulmicort), which worked a treat. So much so, in fact, that I didn't even think about it. A couple of puffs every day, and the cats could sleep on my face for all I cared. Stuff worked great.
So I'm cruising through life renewing this prescription with not a care in the world...except a very slight, not even worth mentioning, pain in my throat. Finally I'd had enough and went to the doctor about it. He prescribed antibiotics, antifungal gargles, antifungal pills...and I don't remember what else. But nothing worked. Finally, the nuclear option: I had my tonsils taken out, at age 38.
And guess what. Still didn't fix the problem. I was at my wits' end. Then one day I just happened to run out of stuff to read while on the toilet, and I grabbed the instructions for my latest reload of Pulmicort out of the trash and began reading. Long story short: yeah. You're supposed to gargle after inhaling that stuff. I'd never gargled once after inhaling that stuff. So I started. My 3-year battle with mild throat pain--and the unnecessary tonsillectomy--ended within days. It was the inhaler, and my arrogance at thinking I didn't need to read instructions for a stupid inhaler.
TLDR; Gargle after you use a steroidal inhaler. I didn't and had a multi-year battle with throat pain that even a tonsillectomy didn't fix. Gargling to rinse the residue out of my mouth fixed it within days.
I'm sure you all know how this goes, I sure wish I did. Throwaway to hide the shame.
Last night, I got particularly extra horny and wanted to do something special, I've almost always been a dry jacker but I figured I'd use some lube this time, to try and add some more pleasure into the mix. I looked and looked throughout my house (I'm 16, to clarify) and found nothing of the sort. So I resorted to lube alternatives, in the few times I've not went in dry in my life, I've used head and shoulders conditioner as a lube substitute. So without thinking too much I grabbed a bottle of head and shoulders anti-dandruff shampoo, and retreated into my room.
After arriving in room, I applied the shampoo onto my hand and went at it as I had plenty of times before, I noticed a burning/raw sensation on my shaft as I went and figured it was just a result of not having a good grip and ignored it. Big fucking mistake. After I came, I cleaned myself up and rinsed most of the shampoo off of myself with a wet rag, and went about my business.
Well about 30 odd minutes later I felt a strong burning sensation on my sack, and this time it was a bit much to ignore. Unfortunately the thought of getting some Aloe didn't even cross my mind so I just took my pants off, and let my junk feel the breeze, which in all honestly didn't do much. After maybe an hour of this feeling I went back into the restroom to check my stuff out. My penis has seemingly swollen, and is sensitive to the touch, and my sack looks like a fucking fried chicken breast.
I very foolishly told myself "it'll pass" and went to bed. I awoke just past 4 in the morning and the burn had increased tenfold. It was so fucking bad I contemplated taking an ice cold shower but eventually the pain calmed down some, and I decided against a shower. I fell back asleep and woke up today, the burn is still present, and my shit still looks all fucked up. I looked around on Google for anything about Head and Shoulders burns on the groin area and found quite a few posts from here, ironically enough.
Well in the posts I very quickly learned that I had fucking chemical burns on my balls. This of course has increased my panic from "ehh you just had a bad reaction to it" to "your dick and balls have been damaged possibly permanently". As I read on in those posts, I saw a variety of responses, most of them were either telling those guys to see a doctor or that it had happened to others before and just passed in a few days.
So yeah, I fucked up BAD. And now I'm scared out of my mind of the possibility I'll have to tell my (very old fashioned) grandparents that I need to see a doctor because I burned my ballsack trying to get off. But on the other hand, pretty much everyone in those stories agreed that the burn passes in a week or so. And at the moment I'm pondering on if I should just ride on for the week until it (hopefully) goes away or bite the bullet and have the most embarrassing doctor's trip of my life just to potentially get told they can't do much.
TL;DR: I got chemical burns on my dick and balls after masturbating with Head and Shoulders shampoo and am scared I'll have to go to the doctor.
So, I had to take my cat to the vet to get neutered and decided to schedule an appointment at a vet that was close to my brother so I could spend some time with him. I frequently drive with my cat so he is pretty tame but I have never taken him for that length of time before so I put him in his kennel. The drive was going great no issues. UNTIL I was maybe 20 minutes away from the vet. I was listening to music and I started to smell something awful. At first I thought maybe I was driving by cows or some kind of animal until I look over and see my cat walking in circles with poop all over him. It was disgusting I didn’t know what to do so I rolled the windows down to try and breath through the stench. I was able to pull over for a second and took the top layer of the pee pad out of the kennel so I could get rid of some of the smell. I continued on my way to the vet and about 2 minutes away from getting there he does it again. The issue here is I guess I didn’t close the kennel all the way and HE GOT OUT. He got it all over my back seats, jumped up to the front seat and smeared on the center console/seat and floor. Then he stopped having a freak out he started squatting on the floor and did it again. (I was driving on one of those back road highways so not many places to pull over) what I did not expect was him trying to lunge at me and hit my car out of gear! I was trying desperately to get him off and didn’t notice until last second a stop sign was coming up. I had no time to stop so I tried to go faster to avoid a collision just to find out I couldn’t accelerate. I quickly changed it back to gear and floored it and luckily no accidents happened. Right after I arrived to the vet got him in the kennel and apologized profusely to them about the state he was in. (Thankfully they were understanding) I left and went to my brothers and spent time cleaning up my car and everything. When his surgery was done he was sedated and didn’t have to worry about another freak out.
TL;DR I took my cat to a vet an hour and a half away, he pooped, got it all over my car, hit my car out of gear and almost got into an accident.
I was just on my way to my parents house not even half an hour ago when I saw a box of abandoned lamps on the path. I'm one of those types that will try to make use of anything I find.
It was raining this morning and the lamps were wet (still are lol), but I still thought I could use them somehow so I brought them the rest of the way with me. My mum wasn't happy when I told her about them, she was saying they were flytipped and now we have to deal with them, but I was insistent. Side note: in UK Thurrock, starting from April, bins are going to be emptied fortnightly instead of weekly, which will increase flytipping.
Shortly after, she gets a chance to look at them... the wires have been cut. Completely useless trash. Whoops! Sorry mum!
TL:DR - if you're going to claim something that's been abandoned, check it's use able first.
Edit: I appreciate all the advice on how to fix the lamps, honestly, but my mum is far too convinced they're just trash and I don't know how to fix them, I wouldn't trust myself to mess with them. Still, at least I know they're salvageable, so thanks for that :)
So, I’m the middle school head wrestling coach at my old school. We had a tournament today (yes, an actual TIFU), but both of my assistants are out sick, so I had to take some of the high school assistants with me. One happens to be an African American guy; he’s super chill from what I know, but I don’t know him all that well because he’s newer to our program (this adds to the awkward embarrassment).
So he and I are coaching one of our wrestlers (Caucasian American), who was wrestling an African American kid. Our guy proceeds to win the match, but at the end, the kid started holding his leg like it’s all messed up. Turns out it was a bad cramp. So being nice and feeling bad, when he came to shake hands, I said “oh man, good match. Go eat a banana”. I wasn’t really thinking and just making a small comment to seem more genuine rather than the usual “good job”. The coach I’m with lets out a “Ha”.
Then it hit me what I said and so I yelled “TO GET SOME POTASSIUM IN YOU” kinda awkwardly afterward, and to which I don’t know if the kid really fully heard me (I hope to God he did).
I was too embarrassed by the entire thing to bring it up again, even to explain myself. I don’t even know how either really took it, and if I brought it up to him, I was afraid he would think I’m being racist for even acknowledging that I’m aware of African Americans being hatefully called “monkeys” by racist pieces of shit? Idk, I’m overthinking. Just feeling bad. Hopefully they both didn’t even take it a negative way.
TLDR; I made an offhand comment telling a student of color to go eat a banana (to get potassium for his cramp!), while working with a newly acquainted coworker of color.
So, i m a chef and i saw a pretty girl, i gave my phone number to a waiter to give it to her as i was busy making food and too shy anyway to go to her because i don t really like to do it in public, she looked interested from the beggining anyway, she was looking at me at least 3-4 times in 5 minutes, even making an effort to look behind everytime, but once i gave the number i started to become more and more anxious and i just couldn t go to her to say at least a hello and introduce myself, she looked more interested in me and i even asking the waiters for my name but again, i was too anxious to go to her, she even waited 10-20 minutes more with her friend, maybe in hope that i will come there at the table and say something, but again... NOTHING, AND I FEEL SO STUPID !! I m just curious, is she gonna call me ? What do you think?
TL;DR: just curious if she s gonna call me or that i really fucked up and that i should quit the idea so i can live in peace again.
TLDR at bottom.
Okay, yes, I know I'm a bit late sending out Christmas cards.
Anyway, I've been up late tonight, driving duties for my bf's Christmas party. I picked him up and we got back about 15 minutes ago (he was surprisingly sober) and I thought I'd finish this post before I went to bed.
So, Christmas cards. I had a few hours to kill so I thought it'd be the best time to write and send my Christmas cards. Friends, family, colleagues; I had a nice little list of about 30 people to send cards to.
I actually quite enjoyed sitting in the dining room with some music and some candles, to get all my cards written. On my way out I stopped by the postbox, dropped the cards in, and carried on my day.
When I went to buy some replacement stamps, I noticed a note on the Royal Mail website. All non-barcode stamps expired at the start of 2023.
Wait, wha- oh. Fuck. FUCK. FUUUUUUCK.
Obviously I can't retrieve my letters from a postbox, so now my Christmas cards are going to their recipients who'll have to pay for them.
Not only have I wasted about £25 in stamps I could have exchanged, I now have to message everybody who I sent a card to saying either don't bother paying for it, or if you want the card, I'll cover the cost.
I thought I'd have to deal with a drunk bf that'd annoy me but he's just showered and gone straight to bed. This was probably the last thing I thought I'd be going to bed annoyed about.
My bf is a typical guy and doesn't send Christmas cards. I think I might have to do the same next year, fuck me if I'm spending £100 on Christmas cards it's probably cheaper for me to drive around and hand deliver them.
TLDR: Used some stamps that I bought 12 months ago, now might end up needing to pay £75 in Royal Mail charges so friends can receive a Christmas card, plus throwing away another £25 in the stamps I used.
Me and hubs were talking movies. Trying to find something to watch. We scroll past Requiem For Dream and I’m like weird that doesn’t look right. (Never seen it, turns out I mixed it up with Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind).
Husband is giddy with excitement because it’s him that usual mixed up movies/actors etc. Insists I have to watch; he puts the movie on for me and leaves the room. I’m slightly tipsy and spend the next however long tripping spinning feeling dizzy and like crying over a film that is very much not Jim Carey! (He also insists that his high school had the students watch this film to discourage drug use but I very much disagree, waiting on his sister for confirmation lol.
Finally it ends and now I’m watching Lego Batman so I can sleep tonight without nightmares haha.
TL;DR: Mixed up two very different cinematic adventures and now may have nightmares for life. Husband wins this one.
Yesterday my aunt (50F) and I (27F) went to a big artisans' fair. It's located in a huge exibition ground with ten pavilions, each hosting stands from all over the world.
After lunch, we decided it was time for an Italian style coffee.
While changing pavilions, we spotted a café and decided to head there. As we approached the building, a couple of guys held the door open for us. We thanked them and my aunt started making conversation with them, by saying something along the line of how there aren't many gentlemen nowadays.
They stood next to us in line, then my aunt and one of them decided to head to a table and wait for me and the other guy to come back with the coffees.
The conversation was flowing rather smoothly, not that we were talking about anything particular, just about where we were from and what we were doing for a living.
I was super awkward though, as in I could not go with the flow of the conversation or even ask interesting question - it was as if my brain was frozen.
Then my aunt decided it was time to go to the next pavilion and we simply just left.
I FU because during all of the conversation I didn't even ask them for their names nor their contact information. I only know their birth year, their workplace, where they are from (which is more than 70 km away). They were both really cute and I'm now wondering whether they were trying to make a move on me/us or something... Well I guess we'll never know, but I really feel like a moron for not being a good conversationalist or to score at least their contact information.
TL;DR: I met two cute guys, chit-chatted a bit but left without even exchanging names and/or contacts because I'm socially dysfuncional 🥲
I told my ex that he was a Narcissist because he truly has the tendencies. He would always bring up how well liked he is and how every girl ever really loves him and he thinks it's funny that they don't believe him when he tells them he's not interested. He rang me up to talk about something random and ended up bragging again. I told him he shouldn't be playing people the way he does and that he could be a Narcissist considering his behaviour befits it. He absolutely flipped back at me telling me how I was the last person who he thought would ever judge him and he never judges people that he loves and how it means I never loved him and/or wanted to be with him long-term and he is enraged by the fact that I thought he was what he was. I explained to him that it was just for him to self reflect and he asked me to shut up and reiterated how stupid and immature he thinks I am. He then told me that for the sake of his mental peace, I would never be hearing from him again and blocked me from one of the many platforms he has me on. I haven't tried reaching out since. I am not sure how to feel.
TL;DR my ex flipped out at me and blocked me because I called him a Narcissist
Obligatory this didn't happen today and this is not my normal Reddit account for obvious reasons.
So the other day I went to visit my FWB I'd been seeing for the last 2.5 years. We've slowly moved towards real dating/relationship stuff since around August. But have still kept things fairly casual because we both have kids from previous marriages that are young adults/teens with some issues and we don't want to rush anything, we both have some financial issues and financial entanglements with former partners that are messy and involved (15 year marriage for me, 13 year common law partner ship for him) and we didn't want to do the whole drag a new partner into an old mess thing. So we haven't done the introduce kids and parents to the new person thing yet.
In fact we've still both got a former partner still lurking and attending kid functions and family functions.
Neither of us was phased by that, when kids and decades and mortgages are involved it's always messy until divorces are finalized and everyone finds a new normal and we met unintentionally long before either of us had intended to start dating again.
Fast forward to the other day and were cuddling in his bed, when we hear the back door open and a woman's voice call out his name, and again, as the sound of heeled boots click across tiled floors I frantically snuck under the covers as she walks into the bedroom and demands to know whom he has over as she doesn't recognize the pair of blue sneakers at the door.
I pull back the blanket, to see a very beautiful, very angry looking woman in a gorgeous pants suit glaring at my boyfriend as she gives me a once-over and barks at me to "get out of her house."
Which I immediately scramble to do, throwing on my hoodie and bright blue wal-mart sneakers.
I hear him very calmly say to her "Debra* this is Sarah*, Sarah, this is my wife Debra".
I have no idea what happened next because I was out the door down the street and on a bus to the other side of town faster than a bullet leaves a gun.
However, upon some digging around her social media accounts later that day I came to find out that not only is she not "the ex" I'd been lead to understand, but they got married this past August. As in about 2 years into my relationship with him.
So yeah TLDR; TIFU by accidentally being someone's mistress for the better part of 3 years and only finding out when his wife walked in on us in their bed.
*names changed to protect the guilty and the innocent.
I (24M) was submitting my application to graduate school (a couple months ago), which is the same school I attended for my undergrad. My first and primary letter of recommendation was from a professor I had two years ago, and thought was really good. I wondered why after so long I still hadn't heard anything back, even a rejection. I have friends that have been both accepted and rejected to this very program, so I knew I should have gotten some form of correspondence by now.
Come to find out, my old favorite professor has been fired (a year ago) for inappropriate relations with female students. I had no idea and never would have guessed that he would do something like that, let alone for a prolonged period of time. I still haven't heard anything from them, and this was months ago now. So they either think I am an idiot for not knowing, or a terrible person for not caring. :')
edit: It is kinda funny I'm realizing I definitely caused a "You're gonna wanna come look at this" moment in the admissions office LOL
edit 2: I'm really not too broken up about this, I think it's funny, don't spend too much energy giving advice, I feel bad.
TL;DR: My primary letter of recommendation was from a professor who was a creep, university ghosted me.
I’m in Japan with my best friends and last night we went to one of the all you can drink karaoke bars. The songs of the 2000’s really were just hitting different and to show love for my friend (and because YOASOBI has many bops) 110% was put into multiple impromptu dance routines, backup to her slapping singing and compensating for my hopeless attempt to follow along with Japanese lyrics.
I woke up this morning with my neck muscles crying from the night before. We went to Nara today (known for the the deer who will bow back to you but can be a little agro). You buy these little crackers to feed the deer to try to lure them over to say hi. We shared our little crackers between the three of us, but one friend was holding them. When you run out of food they usually look expectantly but quickly move on. One deer was NOT having it and lucky for me, had little antlers growing in. Most of them have them cut down as to not hurt the other deer when they fight and I’m sure visitors to the park, but this guy knew he had the upper hand. Long story short, got head-butt by this deer and I can’t help but feel beta because I know he probably sensed my weak neck from the night before and thought he could bully me into giving up more food because I had no antlers and even if I did I would be powerless to fight back.
tldr: headbanged too hard at karaoke, got into fight with deer at Nara, lost bc sore neck, returned with bruised ego
So for some background, I have social anxiety so I felt uncomfortable the entire day in anticipation of going to a potluck dinner.
Outside the building, I ring the apartment but get no answer, before two people appear behind me and I let them open the door. I assume they are going to the same dinner as me, but boy was I wrong. As they are going up the stairs I overhear one ask the other if his bottle was water or vodka, which probably could have been another hint they were attending a different gathering, as the host I knew had recently given up drinking. I take off my shoes when they do and follow them into their party. I notice everyone else is a lot more dressed up than me, I ask if they knew the host, and quickly learn I am in the wrong place and promptly exit. I then check the invitation again and see what the correct apartment was, and go ring that one twice to no answer. I check the invitation again and notice it’s not today. Shortly after, a message is sent to everyone reminding them when the event will be, which I assume was sent in response to my blunder.
I had made an entry in my calendar for today, I’m not sure whether the dinner got postponed or I just made a calendar entry for the wrong day but either way, there goes my Friday evening. I missed something else to go to this.
TLDR: Crashed a party at the wrong apartment before going to the right apartment to learn it’s the wrong day.
ETA: Apparently the event was postponed and I just didn't get the memo.
So today I was on train back home from my uni and next to me was sitting the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, she was just my type and she gave me a few looks but I just kept overthinking again and again, she was sitting tight in front of me in one of the 4 seat spaces in the train. I spent the entire train ride thinking of what to say to not sound creepy and as I didn’t want to stare I was looking outside the window. Before u realized I spent a 3 hour train ride trying to muster up the courage to talk to her. I’m usually not a shy person but that day I just don’t know what happened to me, my brain just gave up on me. Normally when I see a pretty girl at clubs or bars I can easily go and strike conversation, but the one time I really want to it just doesn’t work. I genuinely replayed the situation of me talking to her 1000 times in my head just to not say anything. And I know that it wasn’t a sure thing that she would’ve given me her number or liked me but at least I would’ve known.
TL:DR I was too much of a coward to talk to a girl on a train
I take full responsibility for this and I know I fucked up, so do your worst. Can't be any worse than how I'm feeling right now.
I was (probably aren't anymore) friends with this woman for a couple of years. We met through mutual friends and we'd both be at the parties they'd throw. She was dating a guy off and on since I've known her so I always thought of us as just friends. I did feel like it'd be nice to be in a relationship because we seemed to vibe real well, but I never asked her about it. That fling ended for good this past summer, and I started getting texts from her more often. Not like every day but definitely a spike. In hindsight I should have cleared the air with her and asked if we were just friends or something more, but I didn't.
I met her sister once about a year and a half ago, then I saw her again this past Thanksgiving when a group of us went over to her family's place. Her sis and I also clicked, and I admit I felt like she was someone I could see myself dating if she was open to it, more than younger sis. I didn't tell older sis that straight up but asked if she'd like to grab a bite sometime and she said yes. So we did that a couple of times. Never had sex, didn't even kiss, we were always in public places. I thought about broaching the subject about being a thing on the next one or two outings but......
Today i got a call from older sis. Younger sis somehow found out we went out and blew up at her sister accusing her of using me (I paid for both meals) and that we were sleeping together (not true). Now there's a ton of fallout between them because I didn't make my intentions clear. I not only lost a valuable friendship but also drove a wedge between two family members. What's worse is older sis' uncle just died and now she has to deal with all this on top of prepping for the funeral. All this just happened but I'm sure I'm outta the whole friend group now too.
Trying to call my friend to try defusing this but aint reached her yet. I'll smooth everything over before walking away from these people's lives. Like I said, I feel like the biggest scumbag in the world so thrash me however you want. Won't hurt compared to this awful feeling.
TLDR drove two sisters apart because I didn't communicate well, and likely lost a friendship I really cared about.
So, for context in this story, I (16M) have two younger sisters who play piano, and we live in a state where snowfall is VERY common and in large amounts. And today, they just so happened to have a piano recital at a church about ten to fifteen minutes from our house. Because we all have crazy schedules, me, my mother, and my father all took separate cars. I'm a relatively new driver, and drive a 2008 Toyota Camry.
Anyways, I'm driving there up a road which I drive fairly often, but I drive past the main (and safe) turn, and continue up the road, thinking I'll take a left later which will take me straight to the church. I pass that turn without realizing it, however, and continue driving. Eventually, I realize I probably missed the turn, so I take the next left, which goes directly into a snowy and muddy field. As most of you can probably see where this is going, let's cut through the nearly 30 minutes of me driving across hills, up and down them, and through four-wheeler tracks which were NOT made for my car. Eventually, as fate would have it, I get stuck in a snow drift in the middle of a field, barely able to see the church where the recital was at, having driven past it. By now, I've completely missed their songs, and I feel like a PoS.
So, eventually, after numerous texts from my parents asking where I am, I finally tell them that I'm stuck in the middle of a field, and my Dad comes to get me. He has to walk from his truck because he can't find a way to get to where I am, and we spend another 15 minutes trying to get me unstuck. Did I mention it was 16 degrees outside (Fahrenheit)? Anyways, we eventually gave up and decided to come back later, leaving me at home writing this post while waiting for my Dad to have free time to go free me from the snow...
TL;DR: TIFU by getting stuck because I can't admit I'm wrong...
so i joined a culinary class in my highschool because i wanted to know how to bake, im good at cooking with other stuff but wanted to make sweets to impress women in the future, nothing else really. The teachers taught me that cooking is fun and baking is science etc. ive been cooking since i was 11 and im 16 now so i thought its finally timw to switch it up
most of my peers joined and started to enjoy myself and even learned how to make jam on my own time for my mother’s birthday. i will sometimes make something at home and show the teachers and they’d love it. so one day the class had to clean the other classes dishes, im 90% sure it was a punishment for some students making a mess but they wouldn’t tell us. so one teacher (there is 3 in the class) asked me to clean out the hot coco dispenser, i didnt know what the actual fuck it was because of its shape but she told me to just take off the lid and rinse it out, nothing else. I twist the lid both ways and it wasnt coming off so my dumbass sees a lever at the top and pull it up, and guess what happend...I burn my damn finger after it started to pour out hot coco, and my finger was right under the dispenser and in my search for the perfect method of opening it i didnt feel it, the outside was cold so i didnt feel like anything was inside and i couldnt check because i couldnt open the lid.
i started yelling "Fuck" and my peers were concerned because they never heard me yell or swear before, normally im cracking jokes and making the class laugh when the lesson is over so they never hear me being serious unless im cooking something test related (just keep my comments quick and to the point, if i cant say what i need in 15 seconds or less i get it myself). The teachers to me to quickly rinse it in water and I started laughing because thats my default reaction, made the class laugh as well and they went back to cleaning. When i jumped back yelling i accidentally poured hot coco on the dishes i just cleaned the food off of and knocked something electrical in the water when it wasn’t supposed to be more then wiped down with a wet sponge, it was unplugged but a huge amount fell in but my friend that the waterline it fell in was at the start if its plug
the same friend started whispering “oooooo~ you broke it” and I started panicking silently trying to fix it, luckily the teacher “should be fine” but im still worried I damaged it, I cleaned off the rest of the dishes and my classmate cleaned it out while I was rinsing my finger went home embarrassed and worried.
TLDR: Teacher asked me to do something simple and I complicated it and ended up pouring blazing hot coco on my finger and possibly damaged something expensive in the process