RIP to both of them

[u/Sub5Nightmare]

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[u/canteen_boy]

Member when Jay-Z wrote a diss track at Nas called “Supa Ugly?”
Like, come on man.

[u/Cute_Emphasis_7085 → u/canteen_boy]

I guess that’s cos he just ugly, Nas supa ugly

[u/cbarbour1122 → u/Cute_Emphasis_7085]

Fugly

[u/peeparty69 → u/canteen_boy]

Nas said it more accurately than any of us could on Ether. “Dick sucking lips, whyn't you let the late, great veteran live”

[u/Hooker_with_a_weenis → u/peeparty69]

I liked “were you abused as child, scared to smile, they called you ugly. Well life is harsh, hug me, don’t reject me”.

And

“you no mustache havin’ with whiskers like a rat, compared to Beans you whack”.

This whole track was incredible.

[u/hanging_with_epstein → u/Hooker_with_a_weenis]

"What you think, you getting girls now 'cause of your looks?

Ne-gro please!"

[u/ReggieCousins → u/Hooker_with_a_weenis]

Or make records that disrespect me. Blatant or indirectly.

Being alive for the release of Ether and this whole time period was incredible for hip hop fans.

[u/TheFlightlessPenguin → u/Hooker_with_a_weenis]

I rock hoes, y’all rock fellas

[u/dielectricjuice → u/Hooker_with_a_weenis]

ether, that shit that make your soul burn slow

[u/Acceptable-Bullfrog1 → u/canteen_boy]

There’s a fragrance commercial with Jay-Z where he has these sloppy dreads that are kind of sticking up randomly off his head. When my kids saw it they asked me why the perfume company had a homeless man in their commercial.

[u/LiveLifeLikeCre → u/canteen_boy]

Lol it was the name of the beat he rhymed on

[u/SonicFlash01]

"Dying Girl Takes Others Down With Her"

[u/oOPHXOo → u/SonicFlash01]

Fuck, that's funny.

[u/SteveOends → u/oOPHXOo]

*Titanic Music*

[u/Aggressive_Sky8492 → u/SonicFlash01]

And Beyoncé can’t even get mad cos it’s a dying kid lmao. Wish I could be a fly on the wall

[u/UdderTacos → u/Aggressive_Sky8492]

I love how Beyonces face is, "how did this dying kid know my secret!"

[u/ReggieCousins → u/UdderTacos]

She's probably thinking 'I just want him to get rid of these freeform dreads.'

Plenty of people look awesome with dreadlocks (Contra Coast's Eric Jamal also rocks the shit out of this look but it works) but Hov ain't one of them.

[u/Dazzling-Ad-5480 → u/ReggieCousins]

Thank you for mentioning Coast Contra. Those dudes are awesome, and it's clear they've been working on their craft

[u/leoroy111 → u/Aggressive_Sky8492]

You can be mad, you just can't say that you are mad.

[u/Aggressive_Sky8492 → u/leoroy111]

Exiting elevator smile engaged

[u/KarmaRepellant → u/SonicFlash01]

Dropping incendiary bombs as she ascends to heaven.

[u/Legitimate_Tea_2451 → u/KarmaRepellant]

Ascendiary

[u/FlyingKittyCate → u/SonicFlash01]

She used a martyrdom perk

[u/Maleficent_Trick_502 → u/SonicFlash01]

Shes taking me down too Im laughing so hard.

[u/ValiantlyWh → u/SonicFlash01]

They hated Jesus because He told them the truth

[u/whoisxii → u/SonicFlash01]

My lungs 🤣

[u/Ok-Concentrate2719 → u/SonicFlash01]

Martyrdom

[u/Andre_3Million → u/SonicFlash01]

Boom roasted!

[u/Ratbu]

She ain't wrong tho

[u/justfordrunks → u/[deleted]]

Fuck yo couch

[u/Dyslexic_Hamster → u/[deleted]]

Darkness!

[u/Kitselena → u/Ratbu]

Thankfully it doesn't matter because a bitch ain't one of his problems

[u/Negative_Piglet_1589 → u/Ratbu]

It's skin deep... But $billions are blind & stacks & stacks high

[u/SirRipOliver]

Girl like, if I’m going out, I’m taking Jay-z with me.

[u/asapG111 → u/SirRipOliver]

And that's the tragedy of it. Imagine getting cheated on by the guy you settled for !!!!!!!

[u/ThingsAreAfoot → u/SirRipOliver]

"joe camel lookin ass"

[u/Looking-for-advice30]

Jay Z looks like Mr. Potato head

[u/[deleted] → u/Looking-for-advice30]

She choose to use her mortality for the ultimate fatality.

[u/Jiggly_Pup → u/[deleted]]

Girl dying of cancer: Get over here!!!!

[u/libmrduckz → u/Jiggly_Pup]

FINISH HIM!

[u/METAL4_BREAKFST → u/libmrduckz]

Flawless Victory!

[u/SumonaFlorence → u/Jiggly_Pup]

Kancer. Khemo Therapy.

[u/Sodomeister → u/Looking-for-advice30]

You're not wrong.

[u/SonicNTales → u/Looking-for-advice30]

That's definitely Steve Harvey my boy!

[u/D3ADWA1T → u/Looking-for-advice30]

Then why do girls get surgeries on their lips to look like his?

[u/TentativeIdler → u/D3ADWA1T]

Because they want to be Mrs. Potato head.

[u/Mumakilsmega]

Jay-Z looks like a plecostomus.

[u/AverageNikoBellic → u/Mumakilsmega]

He looks like Lamar from gta v

[u/T1AA → u/AverageNikoBellic]

"Yee yee ass haircut"

[u/Nervous-Telephone-26 → u/T1AA]

Oh, better yet, maybe Tanisha'll call your dog ass if she stops fuckin' with that brain surgeon or lawyer she fucking with.

[u/Legitimate-Bug-5049 → u/Nervous-Telephone-26]

say the next part coward.

[u/AverageNikoBellic → u/Legitimate-Bug-5049]

Inward

[u/Ratbu → u/AverageNikoBellic]

This is GTA 5 we're talking about, go back to your game Niko

[u/AverageNikoBellic → u/Ratbu]

HEY RATBU, LETS GO BOWLING

[u/TechieGee → u/AverageNikoBellic]

I need to know

Are you my cousin?

[u/AverageNikoBellic → u/TechieGee]

Yes

[u/derps_with_ducks → u/Legitimate-Bug-5049]

N... N... 那个...

[u/Vellc → u/derps_with_ducks]

니가

[u/Alienhaslanded → u/Legitimate-Bug-5049]

Technically anyone should be able to say it with the given context, but we all decided it's like Voldemort and cannot be spoken in any for, even in a quote.

There's a huge difference between calling someone an asshole and using the word asshole to convey context like "Jimmy called Raymond an asshole for giving him the Mad Catz controller".

Can't sing any of your favorite rap songs or quote any like from from the first few minutes of Puple Fiction because we're so awful we can't help but get too comfortable with it and eventually insult someone with it.

[u/QouthTheCorvus → u/T1AA]

I was so glad when this scene became a meme because before that it lived rent free in my head. Whoever wrote that scene was spitting fire that day.

(Side note, Franklin becomes too successful too quickly, and we don't get enough Lamar)

[u/Schmotz → u/T1AA]

The best moment in the entire game, and it's in the first hour.

[u/joshthehappy → u/Mumakilsmega]

What the hell did plecos ever do to you?

[u/Hax_ → u/joshthehappy]

Yeah plecos are cute. Jay Z is.. not cute.

[u/Conspicuously_Human → u/Mumakilsmega]

I’m mad that I know exactly what you’re talking about and I’m even madder that I will never be able to look at my big ol’ bottom feeder the same again. That was a good one! Made me cackle

[u/IsayPoirot → u/Mumakilsmega]

I had to look it up, but yeah.

[u/Mumakilsmega → u/IsayPoirot]

🐟

[u/MoretoYearn]

‘Ain’t no such thing as an ugly billionaire, I’m cute’ - Jay Z

[u/Koffinkat56 → u/MoretoYearn]

I bet I got more money than Jay-Z.
Compared to me, Jay-Z is lazy.
Plus, Beyonce thinks that I'm cute.
It's okay Beyonce, I think you're cute too

[u/New_Habit_8433]

If i had a dollar for everyone woman that found me unattractive, women would eventually find me attractive

[u/Intrepid_Hat7359 → u/New_Habit_8433]

There's a graph to be made here

[u/matt82swe → u/Intrepid_Hat7359]

I’d say something like y=log(x+1)^n, where n is your natural beauty , x the amount of money you have and y your attractive index.

So some very beautiful people might have n=100, doesn’t matter what x is really. Whereas myself I’m stuck with n=0.1 and need virtually unlimited money to reach same value

[u/Intrepid_Hat7359 → u/matt82swe]

Dang, by the time you've reached n=20, you really can't notice a change.

[u/Polishing_My_Grapple]

Jay-Z looks like he's allergic to shellfish and permanently has half a lobster roll stuffed in his mouth

[u/Sweet_Sweet_Dolomiti → u/Polishing_My_Grapple]

This is cracking me up 😭

[u/Orlando1701]

MONEY

[u/BedditTedditReddit → u/Orlando1701]

Groomed? Check!

Cheated on publicly? Stayed!

Who run the world? Dunno but she loves the coin more than both those situations.

[u/Aggressive_Sky8492 → u/BedditTedditReddit]

I don’t think that’s accurate. She’s got enough money that her great great grandkids are rich, she doesn’t need his money.

[u/roastbread → u/Aggressive_Sky8492]

It’s a sickness. “Enough money” doesn’t exist to either of them.

[u/Stojanikus → u/roastbread]

Yes. Also, highly successful women tend to seek highly successful men, regardless of how you define success. Nothing new.

[u/LongYogurtcloset3249 → u/Stojanikus]

There are less ugly successful men.

[u/21Rollie → u/LongYogurtcloset3249]

There are also men that don’t cheat. But for whatever reason she stays. My money’s on him using black magic to control her

[u/sukingonsometitties → u/21Rollie]

Rich women generally want a man with more wealth than themselves no matter how rich they are, there aren’t anyone richer than jay z that she could replace him with. That’s why she stayed

[u/fatpizzachef → u/21Rollie]

I doubt that, women are not like men who put most stock on looks, women tend to place more value on go getters which Jay certainly is.

[u/modimes1]

Theyre not together just business partners,

[u/Foolazul → u/modimes1]

And their kids are subsidiaries.

[u/FlowerStalker → u/Foolazul]

This is why the wealthy get married and procreate, to pass their wealth down to their genealogy.

[u/Crack-Panther → u/FlowerStalker]

Historically, that was the entire reason for anyone to get married. Marrying for love is pretty new.

[u/YaxtaYeendu → u/modimes1]

This is the best comment yet. Wellll said.

[u/modimes1 → u/YaxtaYeendu]

Fun fact: if jay z isn’t nominated for a grammy beyonce wont attend

[u/Blunter_S_Thompson_ → u/modimes1]

Ahh that Will and Jada love

[u/Pretend_Pension_8585 → u/modimes1]

I felt so too until that 50 cent story when Beyonce was ready to throw down with him.

[u/CaptivatingToaster]

He really is ugly as hell.

[u/Bioslack → u/CaptivatingToaster]

My mother always said a man needs to be slightly more attractive than the wardrobe. Also that a man is responsible for only two things. Putting food on the table, and making his woman orgasm. I was 9 when she dropped that nugget of wisdom on me.

[u/asdeadasacrabseyes → u/Bioslack]

Whose wardrobe and are we talking about clothing or furniture?

[u/Bioslack → u/asdeadasacrabseyes]

Doesn't translate very well, it was in Bulgarian. She meant the furniture.

[u/asdeadasacrabseyes → u/Bioslack]

The lion, the witch, and the wardrobe always sounded like an adult book title to me.

[u/BeckywiththeDDs → u/Bioslack]

Bulgarian men can have the meatiest heads and full on neck rolls. The women are gorgeous and I’m just like, how does this work?

[u/Bioslack → u/BeckywiththeDDs]

Like Todd Howard likes to say: It just works.

[u/XDVI → u/Bioslack]

Your mom said all that?

[u/Nia2002 → u/Bioslack]

О, не, евалата на майка ти. Смея се с глас на тоя коментар.😂😂😂

[u/cheese_nugget21 → u/CaptivatingToaster]

And still had the audacity to cheat on Beyoncé

[u/O-Victory-O → u/CaptivatingToaster]

It has literally never registered to me that Jay-Z was ugly, or that people thought he was ugly.

[u/ikindahateusernames → u/O-Victory-O]

It has literally never registered to me that Jay-Z was ugly

Really? 🤣

[u/TheStoneArrow]

true but he still doing better than Will Smith

[u/Sub5Nightmare → u/TheStoneArrow]

Keep his name out of your mouth …

[u/Triplesisbest1 → u/Sub5Nightmare]

That slap would have gone very differently.

[u/PM_Your_Wiener_Dog → u/Triplesisbest1]

Right on his bottom

[u/SillyBollocks1 → u/Sub5Nightmare]

Keep your mouth out of his mouth

[u/Deathrial → u/TheStoneArrow]

For fucks sake man! I haven't heard anything about the Smith's for at least 48 minutes!

[u/LasyKuuga → u/TheStoneArrow]

Well yeah cuz he the one cheating on Beyoncé

[u/ihoptdk]

Vicious end of life burn.

[u/Many-Birthday12345]

And he still cheated on Beyoncé looking like he does.

[u/Stevesanasshole → u/Many-Birthday12345]

Tiger woods cheated on his wife looking like a used Kia salesman

[u/Astoryinfromthewild]

Every time I see JayZ, I'm reminded by someone's comment about how he looks like Joe Camel of the cigarettes, and then shortly after I watched a bunch of clips of Norm Macdonald cracking up Dennis Miller talking about how Joe Camel looks more like a penis than a camel, in trying to bring up an excuse to always say the word 'Cock', breaking Miller even more so. So then after, anytime I see Jay Z, all i see is a COCK.

Here you go (i'm not 100% sure it's the right video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBmIoUO7_Gc

[u/BatteryManRS → u/Astoryinfromthewild]

There is a video of Jay-Z walking around with his body guards, some guy who doesn’t know who is asks the bodyguard who is? Jay-Z gets offended and say “who am I? Who are you?” The guys replied with “I’m “name” “. Conversation looked like it took him down a peg.

[u/Aggressive_Sky8492]

Jay said it himself: ain’t no such thing as an ugly billionaire. I’m cute.

[u/Lost-Society901]

This almost killed me.

[u/Sub5Nightmare → u/Lost-Society901]

Please dont die…

[u/sameeye1112 → u/Sub5Nightmare]

But, like, why is your husband ugly?

[u/satan-probably → u/Lost-Society901]

Damn, almost a quadruple homocide

[u/munchiemunch73]

I feel like this is obligatory

https://youtube.com/shorts/_Q1H7QmQIMU?feature=shared

[u/IridescentExplosion → u/munchiemunch73]

If Jay-Z worked at burger king, he could get you a burger.

[u/Bioslack]

Jay Z has always been an inspiration to us ugly guys, that if you're smart with money, you can get the girl. He made his starting capital with rap, but grew his wealth through intelligent business decisions. The same can't be said for many rappers.

[u/Stevesanasshole → u/Bioslack]

What? He made his starting capital with cocaine. If you’re after women you could just start and finish with the cocaine. Bitches love cocaine.

[u/AthenOwl → u/Stevesanasshole]

Cocaine --> rap --> stocks is a solid progression anyway you look at it

[u/InspectorMendel → u/Bioslack]

According to Jay-Z, the day he started rapping he had $900K in the bank from his drug career.

[u/Hairy-Ganache-7457]

I feel like it was an arranged marriage for business.

I feel sorry for Beyonce, like she's been trapped in this marriage for so many years and feel she can't even leave. Even when Jay cheats on her she doesn't show any emotion, her sister showed more emotion than her in that elevator.

[u/beaniebee11 → u/Hairy-Ganache-7457]

Idk seems like she showed a bit of emotion in Lemonade to me.

[u/wrathfuldeities]

Dying girl just dropped Ether part 2

[u/Writerhaha]

Roast on the way out.

[u/TVsDeanCain]

Beyonces hair says hold my cosmo.

[u/Freedom35plan]

TIL, or rather reconfirmed, that as a dude, I still have no fucking clue what women find attractive. I thought dude was a relatively handsome and put together dude. I feel like hygiene is half the battle, and it seemed he always had that on his side. Wierd, still don't care, Beyonce is hot I know that, so I'm good, but kinda funny.

[u/VulcanCookies → u/Freedom35plan]

As a chick, honestly I don't think he's nea~rly as "ugly" as comments always make him out to be. I have certainly seen some ugly photos of him, but like this photo for example he just looks like a normal guy. I don't go in for rating people but if I did he wouldn't do worse than "average" at least, probably better. Especially when compared to guys off the street who don't have good hygiene or who dress very poorly or lack any level of grooming and maintenance

That being said, as I am bi, I can say I find Beyonce to be significantly more attractive because she seems to excel beyond the average woman on the street, even fit and put together women, so I think that's where these sorts of memes come from: she is well above average in her looks and he is maybe average or slightly above. If he were married to someone else I doubt we'd ever see these memes making fun of his appearance

[u/gergnerd]

I mean....https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1h9ljs/beyonc%C3%A9s_lawyers_have_successfully_deleted_this/

[u/Diarmundy → u/gergnerd]

Anyone can have a bad picture, but 80% of guys won't be as ripped as beyonce

[u/IndependenceBig3178 → u/gergnerd]

Till we almost forgot you do this with NO FUCKING WARNING

[u/LakeLov3r]

That's how I want to go out. Like a damn BOSS!

[u/Psychological_Lack96]

Becky with the Bad Eyesight had no problem…

[u/Counter-Enthusiast]

"Ain't no such thing as an ugly billionaire, I'm cute" - Jay-Z, "Family Feud" 4:44 (2017)

Seems like he's pretty aware though, man wears it like a badge

[u/SupaDiogenes]

They both goofy looking.

[u/PM_Your_Wiener_Dog → u/SupaDiogenes]

Tbf the little girl had cancer

[u/Traditional-History4]

Am I the only one who thinks that he looks like a normal guy?

[u/fortysecondave → u/Traditional-History4]

Yeah, pretty average - but it's Reddit so every 2 thinks they're an 8.

[u/qeadwrsf → u/fortysecondave]

I'm like 50 theads in and so far no one has so far mentioned charisma.

I think most people in here are light years away from even coming close to figuring out what attracts woman.

[u/GlitterMissile]

Kiss the frog

[u/JaBoi_ItsHim_TheKid]

Notice no one is commenting on why he's ugly? Just say you find black features repulsive you racist jerks.

[u/heliogoon]

"Ain't no such thing as a ugly billionaire, I'm cute"

-Shawn 'Jay-z' carter

[u/Ajescent]

If this comment has been about a woman, would this thread be as vitriolic as it is now?

[u/superbly__mediocre]

I never understood them as a couple! Like, he's so...lame.

[u/heyitsmeforsure]

“ain’t no ugly billionaires, I’m cute” -Jay-Z

[u/JellyfishOrdinary479]

Welp I mean have we seen her without make up ?

[u/National-Raccoon-480]

When ur family sold u to him kind of have no choice. Knowles dad is shady and signed on the line to give her away

[u/JohnLoMein]

Looks got nothing to do with it kid

[u/mrmrmrmrbubbles → u/JohnLoMein]

Clearly.

[u/therottenshadow]

Wait, I had never actually seen Jay-Z, just heard his name. I am surprised that dude got to date anything other than a sink.

[u/Factsonly98 → u/therottenshadow]

You tried to be funny.

[u/IridescentExplosion → u/therottenshadow]

let that sink in

[u/BlazeInNorthernSky]

How much of Biggie's rhymes is gon' come out your fat lips?

[u/mrmrmrmrbubbles]

I’m so relieved to see this.

[u/redditsuckz99]

Jay Z looks like Troy Aikman!!!

[u/Fun_Age2207]

Never judge a book by its cover!

[u/Impossible-Pea-6160]

Jay-Z is the batcave

[u/Intl_shoe]

dude looks like joe camel

[u/RashPatch]

Went out with a mic drop... Legend.

[u/WomenRepulsor]

But he can write hip hop and nobody can take it from that.

[u/trevordeal]

Success is attractive. I don’t mean just money. Success can make an average person more active to a person who wants to be with someone hard working.

Listen I’m not the best looking guy but I’m sure my wife finds me more active when I’m in the garage building her one of her DIY projects.

She could be with plenty of other filthy rich handsome men. So let’s not pretend it’s just his money.

She was plenty rich and had her pick when they first started dating.

[u/OnToNextStage]

r/nottheonion

[u/GIGGLES708]

Camel Man

[u/2SticksPureRage]

Jay Z wasn’t that bad looking in his younger days and they’ve been together forever so she’s probably just pretending to find him as attractive as she once did lol.

[u/MonitorTerrible1992]

A lot of jealous people hating on Jay-Z while he nails Beyoncé on stacks of cash every night.

[u/PropofolDreaming]

I mean, it's just respect to his talent, guy makes bank and marries Beyonce... I wish i was that ugly.

[u/Motorcitysicknss]

I feel like I’m just not shallow. I can find most people attractive if I like them and they don’t have like an offensive odor or something? Idk. I’ve always been in minority.

[u/Khabba]

Am I the only one here that does not find him ugly? He's like Sarah Jessica Parker. He's beautiful, but not in a conventional way.

[u/VanTyler]

If anyone ever deserved a bonus life it's that dear, precious little verbal assassin.

[u/GraniteMtn]

With DSL's like Jay-Z, its a shame he isn't gay.

[u/Slobozaur]

She's also richer than him and he cheats on her. God if only I had 1% of jayzs confidence id make it far in life

[u/pedrofantastic]

I’m just reminded of in high school, some girl said she wanted Jay-Z’s body cause he’s sooo hot; everyone stopped, turned around and looked at her like she was high as fuck. Mind you this girl was one of the more attractive girls in our class but everyone was like what the fuck.

[u/UpperMacungie]

Jay-Z’s face could be turned inside-out and covered with ooze, and if he wanted to marry me I’d pretend he was freakin Henry Cavill

[u/Odd_Classroom3470]

He is just a fully grown beetlejuice...

[u/Ragnangar]

I must be alone not finding Beyoncé attractive.

You do you, Jay-Z.

[u/Cold_Lion7375]

Everyone knowles she chose status over looks lol

[u/vorrion]

I honestly didnt know what JayZ looks like, but TIL

[u/Deadwing2022]

For some reason, hot girls really like ugly guys who happen to have a billion.

[u/Str0ntiumD0ggo]

He is a Herman Munster looking looking MF

[u/flyingbeetlekites]

Beyonce already did it herself.

"Must be the cash 'cuz it ain't your face."

[u/jester_scene]

“He looks like a goldfish” - my old coworker. I’ll never not see it now.

[u/Slight_Armadillo_227]

I mean, she's not with him for the money cause she's got plenty. Crazy as it sounds, maybe they just get on.

[u/Yuffyy]

Why is everyone here comfortably calling him ugly? Is it cause he is a man??

[u/Oarsman121]

She knows that's true

[u/MatthewLaMacchia]

That’s Ice Cold Man…

[u/scansalvo]

wow, that's savage.

[u/itsr1co]

A comment section full of redditors shitting on an average looking guys appearance is the epitome of irony, you could walk down a busy street for 2 minutes and see 20 guys who look similar.

Tell me how terminally online you are without telling me.

[u/Funny_Improvement164 → u/itsr1co]

For real lmao. I can't wrap my mind around it- how are so many people, so delusional.

[u/SkeletonOfaGhostt]

They've been together longer than majority of celebrity couples, they've stayed out of the news with drama mostly too other than the elevator incident. If they're happy let them be happy.

[u/realfakejames]

I said Jay Z was too ugly to cheat on Beyoncé because she’s so beautiful once and a girl called me racist, I was like ???

[u/RippedKegels]

i dunno Jay aint bad. he could get it.

besides, yall know creative skill is a huge modifier to the hotness stat