r/funny 20d ago

I mean, it kinda is...

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24.3k Upvotes

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9.2k

u/Roook36 20d ago

"Did you pee your pants"

"There was piss running down my legs. But I did not pee my pants"

1.3k

u/h3lloth3r3k3nobi 20d ago

was somebody elses piss...

581

u/mcspecialkk 20d ago

These arent my pants

212

u/South_Bit1764 20d ago

‘scuse me sir, you seem to be peeing upon my leg.

113

u/mcspecialkk 20d ago

Your leg is now my leg

55

u/thefunkybassist 20d ago

Sharing is... peeing

275

u/OverUnderAussie 20d ago

Which one of you cowards shit my pants?

59

u/Mountain-Ad-6594 20d ago

LOL. Reminds me of when Beetlejuice claimed someone else shit his pants.

120

u/R2Vvcmdl 20d ago

Which one of you cowards just pissed in my pants..

27

u/MoreThanWYSIWYG 20d ago

Someone else pissed my pants

7

u/Mammoth_Violinist744 20d ago

It's the pleats...

4

u/platasnatch 20d ago

Don't act like you're not impressed

7

u/Vitaliy07 20d ago

That was piss of happiness though…

3

u/SamboNW 20d ago

Wearing shorts.

3.0k

u/SgtTamama 20d ago

Why is he wearing sunglasses inside?

3.8k

u/Sikah_dikah 20d ago

Cause he’s crying

1.3k

u/racoondeg 20d ago

No, there's just tears in his eyes, he's not crying

369

u/shadowredcap 20d ago

That’s crying

160

u/TwigSmitty 20d ago

There is no evidence to suggest the tears are in his eyes. They just run down his face. He’s not crying.

581

u/Taint_Expert 20d ago

He covers why he’s wearing sunglasses later in the interview. The tldr is that he had various mens assholes on and around his eyes the day before and he got smacked with quadruple pink-eye

234

u/thefunkybassist 20d ago

There are glasses, and sometimes they block the sun, but they are not sunglasses

96

u/Rainingoblivion 20d ago

He is a huge Corey Hart fan.

12

u/thoolish 20d ago

I see what you did there, but let me one up you : the boy in a box

71

u/ContextAutomatic 20d ago

Well that’s how alpha males should look like indoors. Duhhh. /s

37

u/tman916x 20d ago

Because he’s a visually impaired or an asshole and he’s not the former.

-165

u/BALDWARRIOR 20d ago

Eye damage from his fighting days.

110

u/socokid 20d ago

LOL

159

u/ronytheronin 20d ago

Hey don’t laugh, that last fight against Greta Thunberg gave him serious injuries!

2.0k

u/Undead_archer 20d ago

Is this a real interview?

5.6k

u/TackyBrad 20d ago

He really spoke to him and was asked questions, which he answered, for television, but this is not an interview.

1.8k

u/driftking428 20d ago

I mean. That's an interview.

4.5k

u/Browncoatdan 20d ago

He also claims he's not bald.

2.3k

u/ronytheronin 20d ago

"I’m not bald. There is skin running up my scalp, but I’m not bald."

332

u/ukyah 20d ago

I want your comment to be true.

987

u/IgorTheHusker 20d ago

According to him, he shaves his head because he is a genius who has figured out being bald is less maintenance and NOT because he is balding.

Pictures of him after his stint in a romanian prison proves otherwise.

452

u/imashape 20d ago

It’s way more maintenance being bald if your hair actually grows

75

u/IgorTheHusker 20d ago

Well yeah, tell him!

64

u/pallentx 20d ago

Not if you induce baldness by eating nuclear waste for breakfast and through excess testosterone.

304

u/Raeandray 20d ago

Imagine being this ridiculously insecure. It would be sad if he weren't so influential.

266

u/Rustbuket80 20d ago

It's sad because it is influential.

55

u/rlnrlnrln 20d ago

Did they let him out? Why the fuck did they do that?

91

u/NICEnEVILmike 20d ago

Lol. You can literally see his hair follicles on the side of his head, yet none on the top.

-119

u/[deleted] 20d ago

[deleted]

85

u/SamboNW 20d ago

He’s definitely balding. Losing all hair on top like mr burns

5.1k

u/RobsterCrawSoup 20d ago

He sounds like Dave Chappelle's impression of a white dude.

2.5k

u/dexhaus 20d ago

There was a smile on my face, followed by a loud noise when I read your comment, but I did not laugh out loud.

185

u/Blah-squared 20d ago

Lol, underrated comment… 👍

376

u/deprecatedfreak 20d ago

This is more accurate than Tate's grasp on what crying is.

73

u/RavenBrannigan 20d ago

I’ll never unhear this. And I’m pretty sure from now on I’ll enjoy Andrew Tate content.

21

u/Hazee302 20d ago

Savage

2.7k

u/spacemanspiff266 20d ago

he’s got the voice and mannerisms of a kid going through puberty.

820

u/SkollFenrirson 20d ago edited 20d ago

And the attitude and general intelligence cognitive development

314

u/socokid 20d ago edited 20d ago

Woah! No way.

I know 13 year olds that are far more intelligent and honorable than that garbage human being.

100%

EDIT: LOL the submission is already locked. The mods of /r/funny have gone full coward. Wow.

35

u/SkollFenrirson 20d ago

You're right, I'll rephrase

243

u/happydictates 20d ago

Man has the cadence of an excessively competitive high school MtG player

98

u/CharisMatticOfficial 20d ago

As a MTG player I'd be angry if this wasn't so accurate

83

u/Calm-Tree-1369 20d ago

He's the kind of guy that dumb 11 year old boys think is cool and macho, but older dudes with life experience just scoff at.

332

u/spike73193 20d ago

Reminds me of DJ Khaled "not quitting" hot ones 2 wings in, which Sean instantly called him on that he was quitting

2.3k

u/FeelTheCoze 20d ago edited 19d ago

Holy shit, that's what this twat sounds like??

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤡

395

u/Kakdelacommon 20d ago

lol thought the same

327

u/heyyou11 20d ago

Outwardly slightly less trashy Jersey Shore.

That voice, though... he could be an incel redditor.

Is he just a robot controlled from some mom's basement?

255

u/Stolehtreb 20d ago

My autistic cousin talks in this over annunciated way, and when he sees someone on TV talk that way, he yells “You can’t talk that way! That’s my way!” He’s hilarious.

56

u/heyyou11 20d ago

That's great! Yeah after thinking "incel", I thought autistic spectrum next (but I felt the latter did not deserve the comparison as much).

42

u/DrifterBG 20d ago

He's doing the usual projection that these types will do.

Talking about the matrix trying to trap and trick you all the time? It's because he is the matrix trying to trap and trick people.

Checkmake Matrixists.

40

u/Ash_Killem 20d ago

Yeah caught me off guard the first time I heard him as well lol.

32

u/cypher50 20d ago

He is "the Chosen" from SMOSH!

468

u/kwikane 20d ago

“There was poop in my pants…..but I didn’t poop my pants”

1.1k

u/SmugCapybara 20d ago

I find Andrew Tate inspiring.

If this Dobby-the-house-elf-looking dingleberry could convince hundreds of thousands of people that he's the embodiment of masculinity, then you can do literally anything you set your mind to.

391

u/PuzzleheadedGuide184 20d ago

He’s a cunt isn’t he

167

u/deprecatedfreak 20d ago

Many people do not like that word, but there's often no word suitable enough. I fully agree.

198

u/Ohnonotuto4 20d ago

Wait, he really talks like that? I thought his voice was some joke.

144

u/Imwhatswrongwithyou 20d ago

You know a person is bad when they are so bad that they make you like the other bad person.

201

u/fridaystrong23 20d ago edited 20d ago

there were fluid streaming from my tear ducts, scientists haven’t discovered why, yet. I’ve been told this is a human phenomenon, probably resulting from living among them

400

u/WangToWindward 20d ago

Two of the most unpleasant people

496

u/Fourhand 20d ago

Takes a real slimeball to make Piers look charming and likable.

42

u/spidermanngp 20d ago

Omggg he is such a fucking tool. Jesus.

66

u/ashamaniq 20d ago

For being Mr Macho man he does sound like his testicles didn’t fully drop until he was 20

137

u/Taint_Expert 20d ago

Is that his real voice? He sounds like the bug villian in men in black?????? “More sugar”

60

u/sexy-man-doll 20d ago

He was sweating alpha sweat from his eyes or something

276

u/Vegetable-Ad8473 20d ago

God, anyone dumb enough to buy into the bullshit Andrew Tate is trying to sell is a complete tard.

77

u/name-classified 20d ago

would you believe there are hundreds of thousands who line his pockets with the snakeoil he shills and self-help motivational BS

72

u/Vegetable-Ad8473 20d ago

I can believe it. Most people are idiots.

163

u/Slartibartfast39 20d ago

What a numpty. Crying doesn't make you "a manly man" but lying about like that does make you cowardly.

30

u/WhoStoleMyJacket 20d ago

The Numpty dance is your chance to do the nump

-118

u/MattJuice3 20d ago

It’s satire bro, everything about Tate is satire. I genuinely don’t see how anyone can watch this clip and not immediately realize it’s clear and obvious satire.

68

u/327thCloneTrooper 20d ago

Were you asleep?

My eyes were closed, and I was unconscious, but I wasn't asleep.

97

u/Redmudgirl 20d ago

This is one time in my life I will agree with Piers Morgan.

43

u/deprecatedfreak 20d ago

Likewise. The guys an absolute tool.

36

u/jeffk42 20d ago

I don’t remember this character in Napoleon Dynamite, but he definitely sounds like he fits in that universe.

88

u/Darknader- 20d ago

Did you cower, did you lie - yes but I am not a coward or a liar….

37

u/owlincoup 20d ago

Ok, old man here and I'm never really sure what to believe on reddit. Can someone please explain to me if this is a joke or not

37

u/deprecatedfreak 20d ago

The humor comes from the situational irony of Tate saying that whilst tears did fall down his face, he did not cry.

64

u/owlincoup 20d ago

Ok, so this is real and the guy being asked about crying is just in denial then. Its so dumb I legitimately thought this was a joke. I laughed when he said he had tears running down his face but wasn't crying thinking it was a joke.

46

u/JGratsch 20d ago

I would be more than okay if this person just sort of disappeared off the face of the earth.

Edit: In the most alpha way possible. Derp.

13

u/Numerous_Fortune_973 20d ago

And yet there are those who think he’s the embodiment of manliness.

52

u/BreckenridgeBandito 20d ago

Lmao is that really what bitch boys voice sounds like? I already hated him, now I think of him as more of a clown figure. Mickey Mouse ass voice 😂

29

u/Gomauy 20d ago

There was something heavy down my undies when I farted, but I dont shit myself

38

u/VisibleAd3180 20d ago

This guy is such a clown. His little followers are beyond sad

21

u/socokid 20d ago

Says the biggest coward and liar.

What a tiny, fragile little snowflake. LOL

9

u/Will0fDeeznuts 20d ago

That means he's both.

14

u/illeatyourheart 20d ago

What is this salty discharge?

5

u/RedDirtNurse 20d ago

Actors hate him! There were tears, but he didn't cry using this one weird trick!

16

u/Transposer 20d ago

He never said they were his tears.

11

u/dude_who_could 20d ago

I'm not crying, my eyes are just having orgasms.

5

u/Romanscott618 20d ago

Why does it sound like he’s doing an awful impression of a British accent? 😂

6

u/Due-Historian-8759 20d ago

You can't make this stuff up...

19

u/elheber 20d ago

Even Ken, of Barbie & Ken fame, a liberated man, admits crying is not a weakness.

3

u/lasers42 20d ago

Could this guy convince you to sell your body to other men for his benefit?

5

u/cagingthing 20d ago

😭 I’m not crying, I’m tearing

15

u/Gee9898 20d ago

I kinda like Piers I don’t agree with him all the time but when he calls people out for their bullshit, in front of them too, I just love it

3

u/mintyaftertaste 20d ago

What a gronk

5

u/boogersrus 20d ago

You still piss the bed like a child?

2

u/WeAreGhost1972 20d ago

Let it out Andy! 😭

2

u/Naitor5 20d ago

I guess he meant sobbing but lmao. I didn't drink water. It simply poured through my throat

2

u/sharpenyourteethx 20d ago

😂just wow

8

u/VomitingPotato 20d ago

Beta bitch.

2

u/anil_robo 20d ago

On the flip side I have seen people claim they cried but there were no tears. What about that?

5

u/Howiepenguin 20d ago

dehydration prolly.

2

u/Litenpes 20d ago

Hahahaha

2

u/T_S_ 20d ago

Tears once tried to fall down Chuck Norris's face. But they were too intimidated to leave his eyes.

2

u/Optimisticatlover 20d ago

Tate used to talk about women and how he don’t like marriages etc

Now he said after living abroad and getting older , he would like to have a wife someday and grow old together

Yea no shit Sherlock … people mature differently and at the end it’s always better to listen to someone who have experience and wise instead of angry boy

-15

u/ukyah 20d ago

Cancel THAT guy. Cancel culture are like cops. They’re never around when you need them.

-19

u/Boborbot 20d ago

If he wasn't a sex trafficker he would've been hilarious

-13

u/Federal_Ad9892 20d ago

He didn’t say they were HIS tears…

-40

u/Kaito__1412 20d ago

He is like an American adoption of a great anime character

-94

u/DLTfuture72 20d ago

Tate transcends conventional emotions as us mortals can understand, it’s highly likely he’s telling the truth here.

-126

u/Definitely_Working 20d ago

i miss when tate was just known for this kinda humor and didnt become so wrapped up in the whole "matrix" bullshit. i always found this character to be funny until it became a pyramid scheme. remind me of his old "sparkling water" bit lol

98

u/BigTChamp 20d ago

Was there ever a time when he wasn't openly known for being a right wing misogynist bro though?

32

u/PNW_Misanthrope 20d ago

Shh shh shh, that’s just an alpha male.

/s

-107

u/Definitely_Working 20d ago

no he always was but it was funny when it wasnt being monetized so much. i knew he was playing an over the top dumb character and it was just goofy sarcasm with just a hint of truth. ive never really concerned myself with the whole "oh no, now some 12 year olds gonna take it seriously and go from a normal child to hating women!" aspect because he was just making goofy ass videos that would show up on my comedy podcast (YMH). im not worried about being swayed so i could just laugh at his monologues about how he wont drink normal water cause you can get that shit for free. it was just silly

now its just become this giant movement. i still find him goofy but now i have to hear about it constantly. people who follow him take him too seriously, people that dont follow him take him WAY too seriously. its become this giant money siphon that has all the negative qualities they pretend they are living outside of. corporate rot.

39

u/ctothel 20d ago

now its just become this giant movement

It sounds like you almost understand the dangers of this kind of “comedy” even if you haven’t made the connection yet.

56

u/socokid 20d ago

no he always was but it was funny

Fucking ewww

Enjoy your downvotes.

-51

u/marriedtoranch 20d ago

Interesting and very relatable take. I am in a similar boat. I choose to pretend to not know him and avoid discussions about him. If you dismiss people on it I feel like it just will eventually go away. Feels nice to be understood.